The thing is- I feel good when I'm with my friends, enjoying my life, living for God, etc. I feel like crap when I dwell on the past, get depressed, and spending too much time thinking about someone who has chosen not to be a part of my life anymore. So logically, I should go with the first thing. Its just hard when you have to let go of something you swore you'd never let go.
But all I know is right now I have the most amazing friends who make me feel like I'm awesome and important even when I don't think so. The kind of friends who want me to go stargazing with them just so that they can talk to me about something thats on their mind. The kind that invite me to go on a walk just to hang out for a bit and then it ends up being a four hour walk that lasts till 2 in the morning. The kind that understand what I'm going through and are willing to be patient with me.
I also know that I serve an incredible God who gets me through all of this crap. And not just "gets me through" it, but allows me to pass with flying colors.
So my life is not perfect. My life is not better than it was four months ago. But it isn't worse either. It's just different. And that's ok with me.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Whoever is a believer in Christ is a new creation. The old way of living has disappeared. A new way of living has come into existence. (GWT)
Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. (CEV)
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (NLT)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (NIV)
Music for the day (not a song thats from a Christian perspective, but its still pretty fantastic): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TaxO18KOaU