Alright.

Things I want in a guy:

-A guy who not only loves the Lord, but actually lives his faith out everyday.

-Honesty.

-Respect.

-Someone who will make me laugh.

-Someone who loves music at least as much as I do, and is at least as dorky about it as I am.

-A guy who is there for me- the good days and the bad.

-A guy who cares what I have to say.

-Someone who thinks I'm beautiful, tells me I'm beautiful, and makes me feel beautiful.

-A guy who treats me like I am the most precious thing in his life.

-Someone who constantly has talks with me to make sure we're on the same page.

-Someone who not only cares about me, but cares about others.

-Someone who gives me encouraging hugs or pats on the shoulder when I need them.

-A guy I can have serious conversations about one minute, and then act like a complete idiot with the next.

-A guy who, more than anything, wants to protect me.

-Someone who wants to make me happy.

-A guy who thinks I'm wonderful even when I don't think so.

-A guy who thinks I'm smart and funny.

-Someone who I can feel comfortable and open with 24/7.

-Someone who shares the same important values as me.

-A guy who wants to spend time with me whether its a 4 hour walk, or 5 minutes at lunch.

-A guy who will be whatever I need him to be. Even if its just being a friend.

-A guy who is patient, and puts my needs above his own.

-A guy who my friends like, and even desire me to be with.

-A guy who is kind and considerate and will send me a message or call me to tell me he hopes I have a great day.

-A guy who wants to do the right thing.

-A guy who treats women respectfully.

-A guy who is really mature, but also knows when to be silly.

-A guy who makes me feel like its not only ok to be me, but that its awesome for me to be me.

-A guy who would do anything for me, even if there's nothing for him in return.

-A guy that wants God to be at the center of any relationship.

-Someone who what he says and what he does are the same thing.

-A guy who I can see myself being happy with. A guy that I can see myself being with forever someday. A guy that I feel good being with. A guy that God wants me to be with. A guy who can be my best friend.

A lot to ask? Maybe. But its what I want. What I hope to have someday...

...and I might just have found a guy exactly like this.

Don't freak out people. I will keep you posted :)

For the first time in three and a half months, I am ok. I am actually ok.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on right now, but wow...Thank you, God. I am happy.

not better. not worse. just different

I think I'm beginning to accept how my life is going right now. Yes, I miss the way things used to be (sometimes more than I can bear), but I can't live in the past forever. It won't make my present or my future any better.

The thing is- I feel good when I'm with my friends, enjoying my life, living for God, etc. I feel like crap when I dwell on the past, get depressed, and spending too much time thinking about someone who has chosen not to be a part of my life anymore. So logically, I should go with the first thing. Its just hard when you have to let go of something you swore you'd never let go.

But all I know is right now I have the most amazing friends who make me feel like I'm awesome and important even when I don't think so. The kind of friends who want me to go stargazing with them just so that they can talk to me about something thats on their mind. The kind that invite me to go on a walk just to hang out for a bit and then it ends up being a four hour walk that lasts till 2 in the morning. The kind that understand what I'm going through and are willing to be patient with me.

I also know that I serve an incredible God who gets me through all of this crap. And not just "gets me through" it, but allows me to pass with flying colors.

So my life is not perfect. My life is not better than it was four months ago. But it isn't worse either. It's just different. And that's ok with me.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Whoever is a believer in Christ is a new creation. The old way of living has disappeared. A new way of living has come into existence. (GWT)

Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. (CEV)

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (NLT)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (NIV)

Music for the day (not a song thats from a Christian perspective, but its still pretty fantastic): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TaxO18KOaU